Six Notebooks

Question 2:

“So intimate, who is striving for what?

This is not a rhetorical question.”

• Dosho Port, Going Through the Mystery’s One Hundred Questions, p 41

Last night with this. Into this morning with this. Using the techniques that Dosho gave me for the Mu Koan, the Heart Sutta, Genjo Koan when I studied with him. Trying to take it out of the mind and into the belly. Let it rest there as a hot stone. Let the question pervade the body.

Last night, did two 23-minute Shikantaza sessions with it. A five-minute break in there. I was not satisfied with the first twenty-three-minute session. The question stayed intellectual. I was trying to think my way through it. Dosho, when asked how much Shikantaza one should do, nearly always responded that the minimum was 40 minutes a day if one wanted a break-thru. He;s not wrong. Twenty-three minutes will give some ease. Will release some of the overly cognitive mind. But it won’s lead to awakening.

So I sat again.

Bought the question into the belly. Some of the thinking slipped into not-thinking. The question moved down. The breathing changed. The mind released.

Somewhat.

But who?

But what?

But striving?

At first, I was arguing with the question. I was making it two questions. I thought it should be two questions. Who is thinking? What is the who stiving for. I was deep into my argumentative mind.

But but but

I have known Dosho a while. Studied with him for a bit on and off. And I remembered his talks on having faith. In the dharma, in the sangha, in the teacher. And I let that mind go. If he made it one question, it is one question.

So I sat some more last night. So I sat some more this morning at home. So I bought it into my belly on the bus today. And I am holding it dear, holding it intimately.

An answer may come. Maybe now. Maybe in an hour. Maybe in a lifetime.

Until then, I (I?) will hold the question. Deeply. Intimately.

Peace.

Be well.